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Subhalakshmi Bhagawati : Blogs



I won’t deny the fact that even I’ve faced eve-teasing and even groping in my own city. Now considering myself as a strong and outspoken girl what did I do when a man tried to touch me inappropriately in a crowded city bus? I just stood up and scolded that man of my father’s age for being so indecent in a public space and the man just got down from the bus without any remorse or shame. I didn’t take him to the police because who would bother about such complications? But today I think that our resistance against such day-to-day offends against women like eve-teasing, molestation, groping, domestic violence makes those perpetrators believe that they can get away with anything. I believe if a man dares to grope a woman in a crowded bus in broad daylight than he won’t think twice before raping a girl after dark. I think it’s not about only sex but the fact that the men has absolute control over a woman at that moment gives him more satisfaction than the act of rape itself. People across the country are talking about bringing a change in the mentality of our society after the Delhi-gang rape case. But I think it’s next to impossible in a country like India where people still feel reluctant to discuss issues about sex, periods or rape openly. Parents in India still do not give their children any basic sex education at home when they attain their puberty. How can there be a change in the society if people are not willing to change themselves???
Rape as a tool of caste control or social control is prevalent in our country since ancient ages. A girl after raped finds it very difficult to move on because of the social stigma that gets attached to it. It’s either ‘pity’ or ‘the blame’ in the society’s eyes that makes it difficult for the survivor to put her past behind and move on. In some cases the elder members of the family weds off the victim to the rapist to save their family’s name! I think nothing can be more shocking and more humiliating than that especially for the girl who is cursed twice by having to live with her offender for the rest of her life. No wonder why most people in our society still do not know about marital rapes or even if they know they don’t count it as much as heinous crime as rape by a stranger. But I say the physical and mental trauma is just the same for any rape victim. It is imperative to recognize that non-consensual sexual intercourse is unacceptable regardless of whether it is with a wife or a stranger in the road.
Even when the whole nation was protesting and discussing about the horrific Delhi gang rape case, it didn’t bring any change in the toll of rape cases occurring in India everyday. We get to hear about such incidents every single day. Those rapists out there didn’t stop to shame mankind with their ghastly deeds. Until and unless we don’t start treating and most importantly thinking women and girls as equal to their male counterparts these things won’t stop. The concept of EQUALITY should be brought out from the CONSTITUTION to REALITY in every step of life. I know it’s not that easy as it’s sounds but I’m hopeful that someday our country will evolve into a better and more civilized society.

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I'm a fun-loving happy-go-lucky girl. i believe whatever happen in life happens for a reason. I'm still trying to figure out what I really want out of my life.. I guess expressing my thoughts in words will help me find a direction.

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