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UNPLEASANT EMOTION

Yes it happened..it is inevitable bitter truth still green in her mind..memory of that day haunts her everyday..Saira is totally depressed..she couldn’t bear the consequences of what had happened...though she tend to be happy rather her past bothers her tremendously..her eyes witnesses drastic transform..she smiles,she laughs but she cries without intent…the word “pain” stalk her now and then..her afflicted past is really harsh to envisage but she was daring enough..she didn’t retrograde..she move on and on..it already past 5 yrs but still nothing changed wholly..she wishes to share her thoughts but she can’t..everytime she thinks of speaking out but certain fear halts her back as it’s the Indian society, the great patriarchal society where man is always a man and girl is always a girl..few words “look at her,she was being raped” stops her from revealing the truth everytime..she feared what if her parents would face for her mistake..she was none to be blamed..but she feels herself to be guilty..her heart cries..she wanted to leave..leave the evil world…but she can’t…she was not a coward..many a times she decided she would speak out…she feels that not only she but so many are facing with such kind of situations in life but none speaks up because of certain fear and the culprits are allowed to roam free..she thought to speak on behalf of other people as well who are facing the same situations but she couldn’t...she was daring enough but not that enough that she could see her parents weeping..she make up her mind that she would carry on the scene of that day confidential through out life…she moved on..at times that moment frightens her like anything..but what will see do?? She is a girl..she has to be quiet..or else who will marry her?? These are the few things India’s head should stop speaking…people speaks shit all day long but will they atleast think of that tiny creature of 10 or 12 yrs old who was being raped uncountable times…how is she feeling?? Or how will she leave?? People are more concerned how to take out flaws in a girl..now a days so many rape cases are going on..even number of girls are being raped by their own brothers..can we really call them human??? They should be allowed to compete with animals…thinking all those she decided not to register..same thing happened with that little Saira when she was only 10 yrs old…she was being raped by her own cousin..she shouted she cried within but none came to help her cause her mouth was made shut by that wicked man…she was little enough to think whats going on at that time..if it was right or wrong?? It went on for couple of minutes..but she was unware..after sometime she forcefully went out of that room where she was compelled to go in unknowingly..she was being told not to reveal about that to anyone by that wicked fellow..she did so..because she didn’t know at all what was going on as she was totally confused..when she returned home and realized that it was nothing but what people call “RAPE”..her body started shivering..she screamed and cried loudly- isn’t he my brother?? Why he did that? In real sense Indian society will never blame the boy..no never..instead our society will blame the girl…A little girl who was even unaware about rape was being raped but still people are always ready to blame her.. What was the fault of that tiny little girl?? But in return she got such a terrible shock..she’s living her life with that burden till today and will live forever…when she heard about that recent “damini rape case” even after 5 yrs still her body became numb..she started to think about her past..she started crying..but she couldn’t do anything more…cause the case was unregisterd..she didn’t even say about this incident to anyone except one of her close friend..her fear of hurting her parents dragged her from revealing the fact..once she decided to say about her tragic incident to her closest friend who supports her everytime…who consoles her in her difficult situation..finally she revealed about that day to him...he was shocked but he supported her like everytime..while describing she weeped and said that was the day she will never forget in her entire life..she explained how she was tortured physically..it was truly very tough for her to explain..that fear is so deep that even today she couldn’t think of sleeping alone or going out alone at night..when her mom scolds to do something at night she can’t avoid but she cries out of fear..she is living such a tragic life that is beyond words..she's suffering a lot in life due to that incident..it was not a small incident occurred..it changed her life someway..after the incident she was fed up with life..she wanted to quit but certain things stopped her..the feeling that she was being raped horribly sometimes kills her from inside…physically she feels her presence but from within she feels dead sometimes..even at times she thinks why I was not murdered at that very day..though it may be a small incident compared to damini’s one but in a girls life it’s a kind of trauma because she won’t be able to come out from that moment forever..it will flash in her memory for lifetime..it was unbearable for him too..even she couldn’t describe the incident more…tears rolled down her eyes..she weeped and it continued….

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