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Shweta Wattal : Blogs


The travelling moments

I went to this magical world last week. I left behind my pain, my worries, my doubts, my loss…everything that bothered me, before leaving.

So, I had a family trip last week after four years to Manali. For those who don’t know, it’s a hill station…in other words…a respite from Delhi’s heat…and a good substitute for my homeland.

We usually never travelled in monsoons, as Dad was always apprehensive about the roads. But this was the only time when all of us were free; basically my brother was free from his duties as a resident.

In general, I am not a travelling person. Somehow, the chilly climate, the mountains and the rain…in nutshell the entire nature soothed my numbness of the past few weeks. The roads weren’t as smooth as we had hoped for, but the risks just helped divert my mind. And at the end when I reached the panorama, i guess it was worth it.

I was amongst the vastness of Himalayas and I was alone, yet I wasn’t lonely. I saw the sunrise and the sunset, each so beautiful that I am at loss with words for its appraisal.

The Beas River was angry, way too angry. It in a way portrayed my anger towards life right now. But as the rain stopped, it soothed down gradually. When it was time to come back home, the waves were as gentle as a lamb. I wondered when the rain in my life stops pouring.

The basic aim of my parents was to give both their children a welcome change and plus make my brother eat some homemade food as he is too bugged up with the hostel food already. I guess my parents succeeded in fulfilling their aim.

I never wanted to leave the magical world to be honest. Maybe, because I was afraid all that I had left behind would hit me. I wanted to be in this world of numbness. Well, then if wishes were horses, the beggars would ride. Isn’t it? So it was time to go back home.

I was sad to leave these rugged vulgar mountains. Why did I find them crude, I don’t know. I always used to love their heights and the snow covered peaks. But this time all I could notice was their vastness, their arrogance to stand so tall in front of me, when maybe my pain was even bigger than them. Maybe or maybe not. Nevertheless, they were still beautiful.

I am back to my real world. I am surrounded with people I love, yet I am lonely…for somehow that one person I want in my world, is not there. It hurts, it pains and I am angry. And I again stop to think who would soothe my burning heart. I might deal with it alone as many think, but no I am not that strong as those mountains I left behind. I am not.

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