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The Lament of a Soul

Yesterday I had a dream. As is the fact that we don’t remember the starting of a dream, I don’t remember where it started but the main content has made an impression on me and forced me to think.
So here goes my dream…
I am in heaven, God knows how because I am not dead (even if I were I don’t think it’s my place to be). I meet a soul there who has spent considerable time there. I start to talk to him as I have no idea what am I supposed to do and he is the only being worthy of talking in my vicinity. We as humans fantasize heaven to be the perfect place and aim for it as our final destination and our inquisitive nature wants to know everything in advance, so naturally my conversation starter was a question.
How was it to be in heaven?
The answer surprised me. He said” I don’t know. All I know is I miss being human.” Shocked I asked him why.
And from here started his Lament.
The time limit was one of the few things he mentioned to make me understand his point.
“The days here does not seem to end. Nights are long and endless. I don’t know what to do.”
I was still not able to understand him; I mean that’s probably what we humans romanticize about. But then, seeing my expression he continued.
“There is no work only play but how long does a man can play knowing he has nothing else to return to. It is in childhood that we enjoy playing the most because we know that on getting back home there is a tedious task known as ‘homework’ waiting to be completed. There used to be time limit for everything. Here, there are long days and nights and I don’t have anything to do. You see, the perks of being in heaven, you just have to wish and your wish will be granted i.e. I don’t have to do anything on my own. This gets boring.”
I tried to come up with something to say, but then I realized I am not dead. What do I know about being in heaven. I wondered if I will be able to comprehend what he was going through. I told him that he should be happy that all his wishes are granted, he gets what he needs. That’s what he must have wanted when he was alive.
To this he replied” I don’t know. Probably I am not able to appreciate it like the way I would have had I been alive. One is sure that I am not sad here but I have no idea when I was happy. It’s like I am not able to realize if I am happy because I am never sad. I have no problems, no suffering, no plans that would go wrong, no insecurities.” And with a sigh he concluded, “and no future.”
For him every day was the same. It was now that I realized it was mainly the lack of purpose that bored him. The monotony of the day made everything around him so dull that he could not appreciate what he had just like we humans do in this mortal world. Maybe there are few habits that we won’t let go even if we die.
His description made me think about the nature of human beings. We always desire what we don’t have. In this world we want peace, rest, pleasure time, and all our wishes being granted. But we never think what if we get all that we desire.
Will we be satisfied and happy? I don’t think so. We are searching for life on other planets, cross breeding species to create a new variety but when do we actually pay attention to the beauty of the wild flower that was about to be crushed under the arrogant step that you took thinking that keeping your head held high will give you respect and eventually lead to happiness.
We always tend to forget that the happiest amongst us are the people who had their heads just low enough to step aside and knowingly saving that wild flower and hoping that it would bloom for at least for few extra moments until somebody walks over them to their worldly success.
We don’t understand that without this duality life would become so dull. Will we be able to be happy if it weren’t for sadness that we have or success would still retain it’s meaning without the existence of failure? The question is really thought provoking.

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Injeela Shahid


Uttar Pradesh ,  INDIA


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